Beware of Randomness
by Fire Gnome of The Caribbe
Summary: PLOT BUNNIES! THEY'RE EVERYWHERE! AND THEY HAVE MY SISTER TIED UP IN THE BACK OF A WHITE VAN AND IF I DON'T DO AS THEY SAY THEY WILL FORCE HER TO EAT LAST YEAR'S CARROTS! PLEASE READ THIS AND REVIEW... OR ELSE! :'(


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The Search for the missing A and N

__

Beware of Randomness…

Caitlin: "Cyberspace! Is that like infinity and beyond?"

Amanda: "No."

Caitlin: "But we're still going to Cyberspace riiiiight?" *puppy eyes*

Amanda: "Yes."

Caitlin: "Oooh! I love this game! Do you have a dog?"

Amanda: "Yes."

C: "Is she smart?"

A: "No."

C: "Are y-"

A: "SHUT UP!!!!"

C: "So-rry!" *does happy dance* "We're going into Cyberspace, we're going into cyberspace! We're going into-" *knocked out by shoe projected at her head.*

A: *Hides foot missing shoe* "So anyway… We _are _going into Cyberspace… TO FIND OUR MISSING LETTERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes, unfortunately, FanFiction.net has deleted the 'a' and the 'n' in our name. *heroic voice* We will battle through peril and scour the ends of cyberspace to find those letters so dear to us. Then we will bring them back in a shoe box and lay them to rest… *brushes tear*

C: *recovered from assault by shoe* "Poor poor letters…"

Inuyasha: *blink blink* "WHAT THE ****!!!!!"

A: "Hallo! Wie heisse du?" 

C: *tweaks doggy ears*

Inu: *vein pop* *pop* *pop*

C: *smiles innocently then runs to corner pouting. *

A: Grüss dich, Inuyasha!

Inu: WHAT ARE YOU SAYING!!!

C: *snickers* I KNOW WHAT SHE'S SAYING!

Inu: *glares and cracks knuckles threateningly*

A: Wie gehts?

Inu: YES! NO! MAYBE SO?!?

A: English?

Inu: THANK YOU! 

A: Er spaken english?

Inu: NO!

A: Nein? Nein spaken english?

Inu: I SPEAK ENGLISH! 

C: So does she.

Inu: THEN WHY ISN'T SHE SPEAKING IT!?!

C: She enjoys ticking you off.

Inu: *snarls at Amanda*

A: *cowers in friendly corner*

C: We need you to help us into cyberspace!

Inu: So?

A: *lip trembles* Nein? *tears well up*

Inu: *blows raspberry*

Kagome: OSUWARI!!!

Inu: *kisses dirt*

Kag: I'll help *normal cheery self*

C: *hugs Kagome*

A: *blows raspberry at Inu*

C: *pokes Inu with stick*

Miroku: Will you bear my chi-WHERE AM I????

Lord Voldemort: Good question…

Serafina Pekkala: *falls off cloud pine*

C: I don't think we're in cyberspace, Amanda.

A: WE'RE IN FAN FIC WORLD! YEEEEEEEEAAAAH!

C Voldy Inu Kag Miroku Serafina: Ooooooooooookaaaaaaaay…

Pippin: Hallo.

A: WIE GEHTS?

Pippin: Huh? No I don't like gates…

C: *holds up roll of duct tape threateningly at Amanda*

A: *mimes zipping mouth*

Voldy Serafina Inu: THANK YOU! *shake Caitlin's hand*

Pippin: *plays with Inu's ears*

Inu: *snarls*

C: *pulls Pippin to safe distance* (twenty-five yards away) _Don't _touch the ears. Only Kagome is allowed to do that.

Voldy: *draws wand from robes "sneaky like"*

Inu: COOL STICK! CAN I PLAY WITH IT!?!

Kagome: *steals Voldy's "stick"*

Inu: *puppy eyes*

*Kagome and Inu play fetch with Voldy's wand.*

Voldy: NO! STOP! IDIOTS! FOOLS! STUPID MORTALS!!!

Inu: Who you calling mortal?

Serafina: I am no mortal.

Will Parry: Not really anyways.

Kirjava: Like an elf!

Legolas: How the heck do you know what an elf is?

*****Every female in room stops moving* EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"He's so cute!"

"Mine!"

"Mine!"

"Mine!"

"I saw him first!"

"Nuh uh!"

Pippin: There's enough Pippin to go around ladies…

*Girls glare.*

"NOT YOU! Him…" *points dreamily at Legolas.*

Legolas: *pales*

*Girls proceed to harass Legolas and chase him around the room for several minutes.*

Sesshoumaru: Can I PLAY WITH YOUR HAIR! 

*Caitlin and Amanda exchange dry looks*

Meanwhile…Kagome and Inuyasha are still playing fetch with Voldy's wand. Voldy cries out in dismay trying to catch the hanyou… and failing… miserably…

Voldy: *wheezes*

Inu: Come on! You're a slow poke!

Voldy: It's not easy when you're seventy-five!

*All action in room pauses as Voldy blatantly admits his age*

Voldy: What?…

*Voldy manages to grab a hold of his wand from Inuyasha's mouth and accidentally conjures up a colossal pile of mushrooms.*

Frodo: MINE!!!

Sam: Sorry, Mr. Frodo. MINE!!

Merry: NO!! MINE!!

Pippin: ME! ME! ME! I was here first! 

Sango: Gee they're as obsessed with mushrooms as we are with Legolas… *shakes head sadly and continues chasing the elf*

Jack Sparrow: No, they're as obsessed with mushrooms as Will is with Elizabeth…

Will Parry: …

Lyra: WHO'S ELIZABETH!!! *loud slapping noise*

*crew winces*

Jack: Sorry, mate, Will _Turner_.

Lyra: *blushes and rubs Will's cheek sympathetically.*

Will Turner: I AM NOT!

Everyone: YES YOU ARE!

Will T.: Okay. L 

Elizabeth: Really? Will, I had no idea!

Jack: You should have heard him. The whole time! Nothing but "Elizabeth this… Miss Swann that!" *gags*

Will T.: *glares*

~-~-~

A: I don't think we're going to cyberspace anytime soon.

C: *stops chasing Legolas.* I don't think so either. *Proceeds to chase Legolas again.

A: Hey! Wait for me!

*The hobbits feast contentedly on their mushrooms, though Pippin isn't walking quite as straight as he used to. Jack spikes the punch with rum. Legolas finds a nice tree to cower in. Voldy fondles his wand affectionately. Inu pouts and stares longingly at the wand. Kagome sympathizes. Miroku is busy following the Legolas fan club and asking a 'few' of them to bear his child. Sango is among the fan club as is:

Official Legolas fan club list:

(Technically could be considered every female who sets eyes on him…)

Lyra Belacqua

Serafina Pekkala

Marisa Coulter

Elizabeth Swann

Us

Kagome Higurashi

Sango

Kikyou

Minerva McGonagall

Hermione Granger

Ginny Weasley

Cho Chang

Molly Weasley

Pansy Parkinson

Arwen Undomiel (yes, Aragorn's, but still obsessed)

Hannah Abbot

Rita Skeeter

Pomona Sprout

Cara Hunter

All you other crazy, obsessed girls out there that we don't know

Aejavu

Mrs. Butterfly Tom

Margaret March

Beth March

Jo March

Amy March

Cattie-Bri

Elle M.

Sally Lockhart

Nymphadora Tonks

Petunia Dursley

Shinique

Shinene

Marge Dursley

Mimiru

Subaru

BT

Sarah L.

Kaoru

Sora

Mimi

Misty

Kaede

Zelda

Ruto

Malon

Saria

Navi

Eowyn

Galadriel (now that's just creepy…)

Mary Sue

*pause while Amanda untangles slinky*

Dora (Yes, the Explorer)

Isa the Iguana

Zoe (Sesame Street) _

Sesshoumaru

(_This ends our official list… whew)_

C: How's that slinky coming, Amanda?

A: *holds up plastic fragments* This one? Great. Just great. *Hands slinky to three year old brother of Caitlin who solves it quickly*

C: We never did make it to cyberspace to rescue our missing letters.

A: Yeah… maybe next fic…

*Inu is chewing on something*

Kagome: OSUWARI!

*As Inu fraternizes with the floor, two mysterious blobs fall out of his mouth.*

"Eeeeeeeeeewww…"

C: Um, are those what I'm thinking they are…

A: OUR LETTERS! YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHH!

Legolas: So I can go home now?

"NO!"

C: *hugs slobbery letters*

A: Until next time…

[A/N] _Sorry if this fic left a bad taste in your mouth. We were being random… again… Anyway, we might actually do a serious fic… sometime… maybe… well,_

Ja ne!

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